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Thursday, December 10, 2015

How To Gain Confidence!

On a daily basis I receive questions from women asking "How do I become more confident", "What are some things I should be doing to feel better about myself"?
Self confidence is not something that is going to happen overnight, it is something that you have to work on and build. We were all born with confidence, and we can all get it back if we learn to silence the thoughts that threaten it.

So here are some ways that will help you become more confident!

  • Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. Never step outside your box to try to please anyone. In order to have confidence, you have to accept yourself for the person you are, regardless of what you look like.
  • Dress well and wear clothes that compliment your figure. Your clothes can affect the way you feel about yourself. People make their first judgements about you based on your body language and what you’re wearing. Fashion is very much subjective, so wear something you think you look good in. It doesn’t matter if you have terrible taste; wear something that makes you feel confident in yourself 
  • Wear sexy lingerie, or sexy underwear even if your the only one who is going to see it!
  • Tell yourself "I am beautiful". Seriously, stand in front of your mirror naked and point out all of the great things on your body. Yeah you will feel some negativity but for every negative you "see" point out a positive.


  • Focus on the positive not the negative. Instead of complaining on what doesn't work in your life, focus on what does work, and how you can get it. What you focus on, you will receive. 
  • Make eye contact and hold it. Don’t ever be the first person to look away. It might sound creepy to just stare into someone’s eyes, but it isn’t. What is creepy is making eye contact and quickly looking away. Breaking eye contact makes you look nervous and ashamed. Any time you catch someone's eye, smile at them. It is difficult to fake a genuine smile, and even more difficult to hide one. A genuine-looking smile starts with the eyes: if you pretend you are squinting your eyes from the bottom up, your face will naturally crease into a warm and friendly smile. Be sure to let your teeth show when you smile.
  • Take care of yourself. Often when a person lacks confidence, the attitude toward self-maintenance boils down to “Who really cares?” The answer is: you care. Letting yourself slide on things like hygiene, health, and time management is a sure way to make your lack of self-confidence even worse, as your ideal self becomes more and more removed from your reality. By taking better care of yourself, you will be breaking the cycle and giving yourself a major confidence boost. Eat healthy and exercise
  • Get some professional photos taken! Boudoir photoshoots are a great way to make yourself feel and look beautiful!


  • Be clear on who you are, and focus on where you are going. You must know who you are and what you want in life in order to get it. If you don't know, find out. Ask yourself questions and search for answers. 
  • Once you spot somebody you’re interested in, don’t give yourself more than three seconds before approaching him/her.  Anything beyond that will cause you to over-analyze the situation in your head and probably end up doing nothing.  You’ll quickly learn that “if you don’t ask, the answer is always no,” so you have nothing to lose.
  • Kill negativity. There’ nothing that screams low self-worth more than negative talk and thoughts about others. When we spend too much time judging others it’s a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. It’s a way to strengthen the ego – by judging others we make ourselves feel better. Instead of wasting time picking faults in other people, its much more beneficial to work on your own strengths. 
  • Fake it until you make it. Acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel!



Above all, remember you are capable and worthy—just as much as anyone else, regardless of what you’ve achieved, regardless of what mistakes you’ve made. In order to truly gain self confidence you must really be happy with the person you are in the inside. This will translate to your outside and show up in the way you choose to walk, talk, and dress. If you have confidence you can just about wear anything and make it look good!

Important links to check out!

What are some of your favorite confidence-building tips?

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